Shutting Out The Memories
by torazee
Summary: Memories are bittersweet and full of regrets. Seeing someone again? Just brings out the memories.


He'd missed out.

He knew that now more than ever.

Tristan DuGrey took another long draught from his scotch as he watched the forever lovely Rory Gilmore with none other than Logan Huntzberger. They were holding hands and whispering intimately in each other's ears sometimes. Her crystal blue eyes positively sparkled.

In truth it disgusted him. Even angered him. She had been dating someone exactly like who she thought he was. It just wasn't fair. But I guess this is what he got. What had he been thinking, going to a Gilmore party?

Yes, he would admit he was an arrogant little jerk in high school but he liked her. He had adored her.

In high school he could have listed her top five favorite books. The ones that she had read over and over again.

He could have told you the pattern of chewing her lip and brushing her hair back she practiced when she was working in class or reading.

He could have made her a mix that he knew she would have loved. He had always listened in when she had her headphones on but the music still leaked through.

He could pick her scent out from anyone or anywhere. Those few times he was close enough to really take her in, he had noticed that she smelled of the most innocent sweetness. It was a mixture of vanilla and honeysuckle usually with the slightest hint of coffee.

Most importantly, he knew how she tasted.

That wonderfully brief moment on the piano bench was one of the most significant in his life. Hell he still had dreams about and yet torture all through military school and beyond.

She tasted even sweeter than she had smelled. But it was different. It was somehow not quite as innocent as she had looked or smelled. By the look alone one would think she was the purest, almost not even human. When he had kissed her….oh _god_.

Her wonderful smell had intoxicated him. He felt drunk, like he wasn't thinking clearly only he was. He might have lost his mind but he knew what he was doing. She was sweet and he definitely tasted coffee. She had on a touch of vanilla lip gloss. One couldn't see it like the shimmery kind other girls wore but he knew it was there.

He wanted her so much. The moment he had brushed her soft lips with his, it was like everything he had thought about for months was in his grasp. It was now more than just lust. _She_ was more to him. Rory Gilmore was something tangible. She wasn't up on this pedestal of unreachable height. He didn't feel completely unworthy of her anymore. I mean, he knew he wasn't good enough but he could touch her now.

That kiss was still so gentle and innocent. Probably the most, maybe the only one of his life that hadn't led to more or wasn't supposed to be anything more.

There was only a hint of tongue. A lick of tongue and nibble on her lower lip and she hesitantly, carefully opened to him. But it was only a fleeting brush of his tongue against hers before she was up, jumping away from him with a desperately scared look on her face. He had felt horrible. But she had kissed him back, her tongue had moved against his as well.

Her cheek had been so soft and she had felt so very warm. Now that memory felt so foreign. It had faded for a while after he had been in North Carolina for so long but it had all come back when he saw the invitation to Emily and Richard Gilmore's party.

She wasn't that girl anymore. She was definitely not innocent if she was dating Logan Huntzberger. It felt so hypocritical. Logan was everything he had been only worse. And Tristan had changed. But now he felt like that jealous little boy in high school. He wasn't, though, he had to remember that. He was better than Logan.

He drowned the rest of his glass, put it down at the bar, and made his way out of the little corner.

She looked up then. Her eyes locked with his and those sapphires lit with surprise this time. She looked completely shocked. He noted, though, how she was not displeased.

He hadn't meant for her to see him, though. Tristan was just going to leave.

Her mouth opened to say something and she had started toward him, beginning to smile.

He had stopped his walk toward the door and was about to change his path to walk toward her but Logan grabbed her hand. He clanked on his glass with a knife and waited for everyone's attention.

Rory was looking back and forth between Tristan and Logan.

He had to leave. She had a new life. Even if it was with the playboy Huntzberger.

As everyone started quieting down Tristan gave her a final grin, a wink, and resumed his walk toward the door.

She opened her mouth again, desperately, but her hand was tightly in Logan's.

He opened the door but before leaving he took one last look at her in her golden blouse, black skirt, tights, and then up at her face with her new bangs.

On the outside his face was empty of emotion. He was just…looking.

Logan started speaking then. But the two were still just looking at eachother.

Finally, he took a breath, sighing. Then he turned around, walked out the door into the night, and shut the door behind him.


End file.
